What you allow will continue

As a coach, I talk about many of the critical components of the sport: training plans, nutrition, recovery, mental fortitude, flow, and strength & mobility. But there’s another part of the conversation that’s just as vital to success and growth on this journey: what you allow, both in sport and in life, will continue.

This isn’t just about missing workouts or kicking the can down the road on mobility. It’s about the choices we make, consciously or not, that either move us toward our goals or pull us away from them. It’s how we allow habits, environments, and even people to shape the athlete we are becoming, and the person alongside it.

Because here’s the truth: triathlon doesn’t live in a vacuum. The same mindset that drives you to show up for early swims or grind out a long ride or run session is the same one that helps you set boundaries at work, manage stress, or decide what (and who) you keep in your orbit. The two are inseparable.

When the chaos of life keeps pushing your workouts aside, when negative self-talk camps out rent-free in your head, or when you’re surrounded by people who drain your energy instead of fueling it, you’re still training something, even if it’s not what you want. You’re reinforcing patterns. And like any endurance skill, the more you repeat it, the stronger it becomes.

And here’s the thing: we can’t always avoid circumstances or people that challenge us or pull at our energy. Life doesn’t always give us perfect solo swim lanes, a calm lake, or a tailwind. No matter where we are in life or training, there are going to be moments when people or situations impact us in ways that don’t serve us, or our ability to lean into our greatness.

We can’t always control those moments. What we can control is how prepared we are to handle them. The better we understand how to implement healthy boundaries, around our time, energy, and mental space, the more we protect the athlete and person we are working to become.

This can be a hugely overwhelming concept, mindset, and belief system to implement. You may already be in a place where this isn’t new, maybe you’ve been practicing it for days, months, or even years until it’s simply part of how you navigate life. You know the cues to interrupt certain behaviors or circumstances, and you’ve learned how to put those cues into play to create actionable results.

Or, you could be on the complete other end of the spectrum. Maybe this idea feels brand new, heavy, and even a little foreign. The thought of holding these lines and making these changes might feel like one more “to-do” in an already full life. Completely normal and far from alone to have all the feels. No matter where you are, this process is disruptive. It’s shaking up what’s easy because it’s familiar, even if that “easy” is also the very thing causing discomfort, frustration, stress, and a whole mix of other valid feelings.

In these moments it’s not unreasonable to “What if…?” change like this. But if that nail you’re sitting on keeps poking you in the booty, what if you finally get off it? Those “nails” might be circumstances, people, or environments that aren’t giving you peace or creating the space for you to grow, and staying stuck on them only reinforces more of what you don’t want. At worst, getting off means you stop wincing every time you shift. At best, you start moving toward something better. Or, to borrow from Wayne Gretzky: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” So maybe it’s time to take the shot… or at least stand up and stop sitting on the nails.

That disruption can feel like resistance, but it’s also where change lives. It’s where we stop defaulting to old patterns and start building new ones. It’s not about flipping a switch or waking up one morning with it all figured out. It’s about learning to recognize when we’re slipping back into what no longer serves us and practicing the tools, over and over again, that help us choose differently.

Speaking personally, this concept of “What you allow, will continue” showed up in my life about 8-10 years ago. I can’t even remember where I first heard or read it, but I can tell you this, it was loud and echoed. This was one of those mega Ah-ha’s that has made a significant positive difference in my life, in my relationship with myself, with others in friendship, in sport, in business, and beyond.

There are times I literally say it out loud to myself, just to get out of my own way, to create a path toward working smarter, not harder; to remind myself that I can’t pour from an empty cup; to nudge myself to take personal inventory (and yes, that includes checking in on my blind spots).

For me, this is a practice, and I believe it’s a crucial part of training for both life and sport. Making mindset shifts, breaking patterns, and drawing new lines can be uncomfortable and challenging. But here’s the thing: the time is going to pass anyway. You’re always using energy, either working for yourself or against yourself. When you look at it that way, it becomes clear that you have every opportunity to change course, to interrupt patterns, and to stop reinforcing the things that create more stress and more of what you don’t want.

And this is where another lesson comes in, learning to give yourself grace. Back in 2018, my friend Laura, an incredible athlete and a deeply kind and supportive human, introduced me to this idea. I had never even heard it before, but when she said it, it landed hard, like hitting that fire hydrant: solid, powerful, left a mark, but in all the good ways.

Over the years, I’ve thanked Laura for that moment, as it became a defining part of my evolution, shaping how I treat myself and how I extend that grace to others. Well, I must seize this moment in blog land, Laura, here’s your big ol’ blog-world shoutout: thank you for teaching me that giving yourself grace isn’t weakness, it’s strength in its most caring form.

Grace matters because growth isn’t instant. Just like you have to build your endurance, strength, and fitness, your mental fortitude, mindset, and belief systems need time and repetition to evolve too. Giving yourself the space to grow, and the grace to stumble along the way, is what a big part of what allows you to keep showing up.

Nothing happens overnight. But when you consistently dial in on this, you start to experience the shift. What you allow will continue, yes, but when you pair it with grace, treating yourself with compassion, kindness, and a focus on all the things you are instead of all the things you’re not, you change how you experience the process of establishing healthier boundaries in sport and in life.

Ask yourself:

• What habits or situations are quietly working against me?

• Where am I letting things slide because it feels easier than addressing them?

• What’s one boundary I can set, today, that supports the athlete and human I want to be?

This is where growth begins. Not by overhauling everything at once, but by planting one stake in the ground. One boundary. One non-negotiable.

Because, what you allow will continue.

You deserve the kind of care that helps you grow, not drains you. Start by creating small, actionable moments that support the best version of you, both in sport and in life. It doesn’t have to be big or perfect. Just intentional. A little reminder from me to you: you’re worth building a life and training journey that truly supports you.

Thanks for being here.

Keep SHINING!